Friday, June 5, 2015

TRUE LOVE [Chapter 11: Diplomas and Daggers]



I woke up the next morning in complete bliss. My body felt different, my confidence had risen and my mind spun recollecting the events of the night before. I sat up in bed, rubbing my eyes. Cameron was peacefully asleep next to me. The sheet was half ways off his body, revealing his beautiful muscular figure. His ass was so smooth and plump, I just wanted to bite it. No, I couldn’t get him all riled up again, we had to get ready for check out. But I’ll let him sleep a little longer before I wake him. I slowly got out of bed to not wake him as I looked for my underwear.

“Black duffle by the door, babe.” Cameron said motionless and eyes still shut

He startled me.

“I didn’t know you were awake.” I said
“Trying to sneak out?” he said lifting his head and opening his eyes to look at me
“No. I just thought we should get ready before check out.” I clarified
“Oh...good idea.” He said rolling over to stand up out of bed
“You brought a duffle bag of clothes?” I asked
“I was prepared.” He said smiling

He placed the duffle on the bed as he sifted through it completely naked. God he was beautiful. Best of all…he was mine. He pulled out two pairs of underwear and handed me one. They were both white pairs of Calvin Klein trunks. He smacked me on the ass before I could lift the underwear over my cheeks as he kissed me on my temple. We washed our faces, brushed our teeth and got ready to check out. We got into his car and headed back to town.

            On the ride home, we decided to reminisce of the evenings events.

“Thank you again.” I said holding the almost wilted cherry blossom that was attached to my suit, twirling it by the short stem
“For the sex?” he asked smiling
“No.” I chuckled, “For coming to Prom and making it a special evening.” I confessed
“Of course. After I thought about it; I wasn’t going to let anyone, even you, take away what should be a special time for us.” He admitted
“You made me realize that I can’t worry about what everyone thinks. I’m just glad everyone at school knows and it’s all over.” I said with a sigh of relief
“Me too.” He said holding my hand

            We pulled up to my house and before I could even get out of the car I notice my parents walking towards the car. The way my father was walking was a bit different. There was anger in his walk. My mother quickly followed him, but her walk was more of a pleading type. My dad came to the passenger door of Cameron’s car and opened it. He grabbed me by the arm yanking me out.

“Get inside the house right now.” He said in a stern voice
“Dad, what’s going on?” I asked confused
“Mr. Ramirez, I’m sorry, please don’t be angry with Joey. It was my idea to stay out all night.” Cameron said with concern

My dad spun around on his heel still grasping my arm. He lifted his finger and pointed at Cameron.

“You stay away from my son!” he shouted
“Dad!” I yelled
“Get inside!” he yelled at me

I had never seen my father so angry. My mother had her hands over her mouth.

“Dad. Please don’t.” I pleaded
“You’re going to let this queer fill your head with lies and confuse you?” he looked at me in anger

The hate in his eyes overwhelmed me. My father looked like a different person. My eyes filled with tears horrified by his words and facial expression.

“Dad.” I said through a shaky voice
“Joey. Come on. Let’s go inside.” My mother said grabbing onto me and walking me up to the porch
“Mr. Ramirez. I care about Joey deeply.” Cameron admitted as he stood by the driver side of his car with the door ajar
“Hey!” my dad shouted looking at Cameron with fury, “My son isn’t gay. You brainwashed him into thinking he was. Stay out of his life or God help me…” my dad threatened
“Dad!” I shouted as a tear rolled down my face

Cameron’s face was filled with frustration, which then turned into pain. He looked past my father locking eyes with me. He was a few yards away from me as he mouthed something, but it was as if I could hear his voice, “I love you.” My tears poured out of my eyes. I felt as if my heart plummeted down my body and into the depths of hell. I pulled away from my mother, darting towards Cameron. My father caught me, grabbing me tight against his body.

“No!” he shouted

Cameron got inside his car, pulled out of the driveway and drove off onto the main road back towards town.

            I forced myself out of my father’s grasp. His voice of hateful words and anger was muffled as I tried to ignore him. The tears were still streaming down my face. I slammed the door open and ran up to my bedroom locking the door. My dad began pounding on the door yelling at me to open it. I ignored him as I threw myself on my bed, placed my head on the pillow facing the opposite end of the room away from my door. The tears began to roll off my cheek onto the pillow leaving wet stains of despair. I cried so much that I must have knocked out. Because I woke up to a soft knock on my door. I looked at my clock and it was almost 1pm. I looked at my cell phone to see if I had any missed calls or texts from Cameron. Nothing. I noticed my phone was showing no signal. I grabbed my house phone and dialed my cell number. Fuck. My parents disconnected it. I immediately dialed Cameron’s cell on my landline. It rang and went to voicemail. Was he angry with me? Was he okay? I was worried. Another gentle knock interrupted my thoughts. I stood up off my bed. I slowly walked to the door without saying a word.

“Hunny. It’s me.” My mother said against the other side of the door

I unlocked it and stepped away. My mother opened the door entering it and softly closed it behind her.

“Are you okay?” she asked standing near the door
“How could you ask me that? Of course I’m not okay.” I said with frustration
“I understand you’re upset hunny, but this came as a shock to both your father and I.” she said taking two steps towards me

I took two steps back. She looked hurt by my gesture.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Joey. Neither will your father.” She clarified
“I’ve never seen dad that angry in my life.” I said in a low voice
“Neither have I.” she admitted walking towards me again

This time I kept my place. She stood next to me and sat down on the bed, patting it as a signal to join her. I sat down reluctantly.

“Why did he act that way?” I asked
“Your father…doesn’t know how to handle certain things, sweetie. He…he just wanted you to be normal.” My mother said

I immediately became offended.

“I am normal!” I snapped
“Hunny, you know what I mean.” She said
“No. I don’t. How did you find out anyways?” I asked curious

My mother didn’t answer. I gestured with my hand, wanting her to answer.

“One of the parents called me. Said that her son was really distraught because he saw you and another male student dancing together and kissing.” She said fighting to get the words out
“You know what else I did?” I said with force

She looked at me, almost scared to ask what. I was so angry, that I felt like admitting that I had sex and I enjoyed every inch of Cameron’s cock. But I couldn’t. Like I told Natalie, it’s one of those things that stay private.

“I also had a good time. I was happy. I was even crowned Prom King with Cameron. We danced to a song that was dedicated to us. And most of the students there…were proud and supported us. Including Principle Hawkins.” I said

My mother seemed ashamed of herself and looked down at her hands. I looked at her face as I noticed a tear rolling down.

“Mom.” I said scooting closer to her and wrapping my arm around her in comfort
“I knew you were.” She said through her sobbing
“What?” I asked
“I knew that you…were…different.” She said looking up at me with tear soaked eyes
“You did?” I asked
“Well not at first. But ever since we moved here, you have been different. Happy. And you would always be glowing after hanging out with…” she couldn’t finish
“Cameron…you can say his name.” I told my mother gently
“…Cameron.” She said
“Mom. This doesn’t change who I am.” I told her
“I know it doesn’t. I support you sweetie. I do.” She finally said
“Really?” I asked in disbelief
“Yes. But I’m so worried about your father.” She confessed
“Why?” I asked
“Because. This is going to take a long time for him to get over. I know it will. He was so upset when we found out last night.” She said wiping the tears from her face
“He didn’t have to go straight to anger.” I said in a huff
“He didn’t.” she said
“What do you mean?”
“Hunny…he cried. I’ve never seen him cry so hard. He was torn.” She said

My father? Crying? This was a whole new person I was unfamiliar with.

“Where is he? I’ll go talk to him.” I said
“He’s not here.”
“Well, where is he?” I asked
“I don’t know. He just left. He called me before I came upstairs to tell me he’s okay. But he needs time alone.”
“He can’t just leave like that.” I said

Maybe it was for the best that he left the house. Taking his anger and frustration away from me and my mother. I just wanted him to be safe. At least my mother was supportive. I began to pace the room.

“He loves you.” My mother said staring at me
“I know and I love Dad too but…”
“No. Cameron…” she said
“What?”
“He loves you. The way he looks at you. The way he wants to protect you. He’s good to you.” She said

I stood in place staring at my mother. She could see the love that Cameron had for me and she’s only known him from school. She never really seen him outside of school. My body felt strange as I absorbed the words my mother was telling me.

“I know he does.” I responded
“Do you love him?” she asked
“I’m not sure. I care about him…deeply.” I said, “How will I know for sure if I love him?”
“You’ll say it.” She said with a smile

She stood up and hugged me. I hugged her embracing her physically as well as her love and support. It felt so good to have my mother there to talk to.

My father didn’t return until that evening. My mother suggested that I wait for my father to come to me. He didn’t talk to me that night.

            The next morning as I was getting ready for school, my dad walked into my room. He didn’t look at me; he kept his focus on the floor or items around my room. He then noticed the picture of me and Cameron on my desk, which I had just placed there last night now that my parents knew. He stared at it for a moment and finally looked away and took in a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.” My dad said flatly

I looked at him, not believing his sincerity.

“I’m sorry for the way I acted…and yelling at you.” He said hoping for a response
“Accepted.” I said coldly
“Joey.” He said finally looking at me
“What?”
“I want to make this right.” He said
“You threatened my boyfriend!” I shouted

His face cringed at word. He shook his head closing his ears.

“I don’t want to hear that!” he said
“What? Are you kidding me? So…you really aren’t sorry?” I said in frustration
“I am sorry! About the way I treated YOU!” he clarified

I couldn’t believe this. He wasn’t going to accept this. He wasn’t going to accept that I was gay and that Cameron was my boyfriend.

“What about Cameron? What about me and him together…”
“That ends!” he said
“I’m not ending it.” I snapped
“Then you can move out!” he snapped back at me
“Unbelievable.” I said, “You rather not have me in your life, than simply accept that I am this way and always have been.”
“You haven’t.” he said
“Yes I have! The only reason you are noticing it now, is because I’M HAPPY! Because what I’ve fought to hide has awakened inside me. Because I feared approval. I don’t need approval. I need support.” I said gallantly
“You aren’t getting it from me. Live here and be the normal kid you used to be…or get the hell out of my house!” he said storming out

Shocked by the threats of my father, I left the house and headed for school. I saw Cameron once I arrived in the parking lot. He was standing next to his car waiting for me. I ran to him jumping into his arms. He kissed me.

“I tried calling you.” I said
“Me too! Your phone was disconnected.” He said
“I know. Thanks to my dad.”
“Are you okay?” he asked
“Yes. Are you? I was worried.” I said
“Yeah. My dad isn’t too happy either. He was over giving me an earful. That’s why I wasn’t able to call you again.” He admitted
“Oh. And your mom?” I asked
“She said she’s always known. And she said she knew you were my boyfriend even before we knew.” He chuckled
“I’m glad your mom is okay with it too. My mom is in total support of us.” I said with a smile

I filled him in on the rest of the events that took placed after he dropped me off the day before up until what my father said this morning. Regardless, I was happy to be at school, the support from our fellow students was endless. Although a few younger students who weren’t at the prom gave stares of disapproval and confusion. Cameron and I walked down the busy hall of the school hand in hand. Some people whistled, some clapped, some smiled at us, and others pointed and laughed. We didn’t care. Natalie and Phillip walked next to us also hand in hand. We were the Prom Kings and we wanted to show everyone that in this kingdom, there was no fear.

            Another month had come and gone. Cameron and I had enjoyed each other’s company in public; which was a little more difficult for me to grasp. The older more traditional residents of Depoe Bay weren’t as welcoming to the idea of the out and proud gay guys. They felt like we were exposing their children to perversion. Cameron and I did our best to ignore the daggers we were getting from people. Someone even spray painted his locker at school with the word, “Faggot” on it. The Principle of the school was so upset she placed notices around the school regarding discrimination. It felt nice to have her on our side. At school, me and Cameron kept it low key since my parents were teachers there, but outside of school we were with each other as much as possible. We even had sex a good handful of time since the prom. We were getting better and I even had the chance to be the dominant. The feeling was amazing. I never spoke of Cameron at home. Me and my father never really spoke, and if we did, it was a quick one liner with a cold shoulder.

Even as I prepared for graduation, one of the most proudest moment a parent should feel, my dad still carried a sour face on him.

“Joey. I’m so proud of you.” My mother hugged me with joy; she pulled out her camera and snapped a photo of me in my graduation gown and cap

We were standing outside of the football stadium where the graduation was being held at the high school. Natalie and Phillip ran over also wearing their gowns. Jasmine walked up not too far behind them.

“We did it guys!” Natalie screeched

She wrapped her arms around both me and Phillip with excitement. My mother asked us to pose for a photo. My dad stood behind her without expression.

“Where’s Cameron?” Phillip asked

My dad huffed and walked away.

“Did I say something wrong?” Phillip asked
“No Hunny. Don’t worry about him.” My mother said snapping more pictures

“I’m so bummed you guys are leaving. I’m going to be lonely without you.” Jasmine said with a sad face
“Trust me girl, your senior year will fly by.” Natalie said hugging her
“We’ll keep in touch right? None of that, let’s keep in touch, but never really do crap right?” she said with attitude
“We will!” Natalie laughed

Our emerald green gowns weren’t very appealing, but the fact that I was graduating made me appreciate the stupid thing. The high school band began playing music, which was cue for everyone to get in their places. I still hadn’t seen Cameron that morning. I waited by the gate hoping I would bump into him.

“Joey.” Whispered a voice

It was Jasmine.

“Hey.” I said running towards her
“Cameron said to meet him by the locker room.” She said
“Thanks.” I said running off to meet him

As I turned the corner next to the locker room, I saw Cameron in his bulky green gown leaning against the wall of the building. He saw me and smiled, stood up and began walking towards me. I ran into his arms as we locked lips.

“Hey baby.” He smiled
“Hey.” I smiled back, “Why aren’t you at the field?” I asked
“I wanted to give you something.” He said grabbing my right hand

He held the tips of my fingers and with his right hand placed a silver band that read, “C + J 4EVER”. I looked at the ring in complete shock. I looked up at him as he smiled.

“It’s a promise…that one day…we can officially become forever.” He said

I jumped into his arms kissing him again. He lifted me slightly off the ground. After moments of admiring the promise ring we headed back towards the field. We noticed the students were in position to begin the ceremonial march. We hurried as Cameron got into his place and I got in mine. He and Natalie stood next to each other near the front half of the graduation class, while I stood by myself towards the back half, although Phillip wasn’t too far from me where we could chat. Finally as we began to march, I felt nervous. As I sat and waited, butterflies were ever so present in my stomach as one by one each student was called up for their diploma. Suddenly, Cameron’s name was announced, the entire class and I cheered and clapped, whistles were made. Finally our row was next. As I got closer to the stage, I looked out into the crowd of students who already got their diplomas. Cameron caught my eye and smiled at me with a wink as I smiled back. I then looked up to see if I could find my parents. I could see my mother with her poster board sign; it read, “GO JOE!”

“Joseph Ramirez Jr.” Principle Hawkins announced

The entire class cheered and applauded me. Cameron stood up and clapped, as well as Natalie, followed by the rest of the students. Some parents were cheering along with my mother. I could see my father sitting down next to her. Suddenly, everything went into slow motion. I stepped towards the principle as she handed me my diploma. Flashes from cameras below blinded me.

“Congratulations Joey.” Smiled Principle Hawkins

I smiled back knowing there was much more behind her smile. “Thank you, principle Hawkins…for everything.” I said

I walked back down the stairs on the opposite end of the stage and made my way back to my seat as students patted my back and clapping for me. After we were presented as the graduating class, we tossed our caps into the air. The field became unorganized with scattered students and their families. Camera flashes filled the area along with balloons and bouquet of flowers. My mother came up to me hugging me handing me a present.

“Mom.” I said laughing, “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

I opened it to find my cell phone.
“But...” I began
“I convinced him to turn it back on. We can move it under your name tomorrow.” She said smiling and kissing me on the cheek.

“Thank you so much mom.” I said hugging her
“I’m so proud of you. Your father is too. Even though he’s being a grouch right now…just know he is proud.” She covered for him
“Thanks…I’m glad he’s proud of something I’ve done.” I said

My mother told me goodbye as I had planned to hang out with Cameron, Natalie, Phillip and Jasmine after the graduation. I couldn’t seem to find them though. I walked out of the mosh pit of people looking up on the stands, but they were almost empty. I then walked to the gate where I saw Natalie, Phillip and Jasmine around a Phillips car. I ran over to them.

“Hey guys. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Where is Cameron? Aren’t we going soon?” I asked
“Oh…um…change of plans.” Natalie said
“What?” I asked

She pointed behind me looking over my shoulder. I spun around to see Cameron nicely dressed next to the open rear passenger door of a black limo. He was standing on the opposite side of the gate from where Natalie was. Natalie and Jasmine got into Phillips car as they drove off waving at me. I walked towards Cameron.

“What’s this all about?” I smiled
“I’d like to take you out to celebrate this momentous occasion.” He said

Before I got in the limo, I took off my graduation gown tossing it on the seat. As we got in, the overcast sky began to rumble as lightening lit up the now darkened clouds. The limo driver carefully drove us to town as the rain began to pour. We pulled up to an Italian restaurant near the beach. It was beautifully decorated on the outside with cobble stone, grape vines and hanging lights. The driver opened our door with an umbrella handing it to Cameron. I followed as we ran inside the restaurant. Once inside, Cameron shook his closed soaked umbrella and walked up to the hostess.

“Reservation for Cameron Harris.” He said to her
“Yes. Right this way Mr. Harris.” She said collecting two menus and showing us to our booth

The place was packed. We sat down and began to look at our menu. The prices were outrageous.

“Cameron. This place is expensive.” I said in a low voice
“It’s okay. I got it baby.” He said

He must have said it loud enough because a couple sitting next to us looked over and starred. Their expressions of disgust made me take a big gulp of saliva.

“Cameron. Maybe we should just go somewhere else.” I said
“No. Just order something.” He said leaning in to see my menu with me
“Why did you want to take me out?” I asked in a whisper, hoping no one would hear our conversation
“Because…I love you.” He said loud enough for the couple to look again
“Cam.” I said gently

He looked up at me as he could tell I was uncomfortable. He then looked up across the table and noticed the couple staring.

“Just ignore them.” He said loud enough for them to hear

The man shook his head and gave out a, “pfft.”
“Stop. We’re making them uncomfortable.” I whispered
“Who cares? We’re paying customers too.” He said gently

I stayed quiet in order to deter away from the situation. The man got up and went to another table of customers. I could see him lean down talking to them. He gestured his head in our direction. The patrons all looked up at us and they all shook their heads as well, and some even laughed. Fuck. They were talking about us. Another man from a table next to them leaned in to see what all the fuss was about as the older woman told him something as she pointed at us.

“Cameron.” I said nudging him

He looked up. His face became slightly red.

“Let’s just go.” I said

The man the woman was talking to stood up and walked towards the front of the restaurant. He came back and pointed at us with the manager. The manager, who was male, came over to our table.

“Is there a problem?” Cameron said immediately
“Unfortunately gentlemen there is.” He said coldly
“What?” Cameron asked
“We’re going to have to ask you to leave. The other patrons seem to be uncomfortable with your…different antics.” He said
“What? Are you fucking kidding me?” Cameron snapped
“Sir. There is no need to shout. Simply compose yourselves in a civilized manner in public please.” He said
“We haven’t even done anything. We’re just looking at our menu.” Cameron said

The man who was sitting across from us and started this whole thing came over and slammed his hands on our table.

“Get the fuck out of here you faggots!”
“Fuck you!” Cameron stood up
“Cameron!” I yelled
“Nobody wants you here. Get out…leave town!” he yelled

My heart began to pound. I felt hot. I was shaking of embarrassment and anger. I got up and ran out of the restaurant as people clapped at my leaving. The Limo driver got out of the front seat thinking I was going to jump in but I ran into the street almost getting hit by a car. The rain was pouring down pretty hard as thunder shattered across the sky. I fought back tears trying to compose myself running towards the direction of the beach. I was so distraught that people would be that hateful and wanted us to leave. In the parking lot of the beach, I stopped and noticed I was near the hillside that lead up to Cherry Blossom Cliff. I decided to go up to the cliff in solitude. I ran up almost slipping on the wet thick grass. I finally reached the tree, placing my left hand on it as I hunched over trying to catch my breath. I was soaked. The shirt was sticking to me, my hair was messed up. Small pedals from the blossoms were falling as the rain pummeled the tree. I looked over the edge of the cliff noticing it was a long ways down if I fell. The ocean waves roared during the storm, almost drowning out the booming sound of the thunder.

“Don’t jump.” Said a voice behind me

I turned around to see Cameron who stood about ten feet from me.
“What? I’m not going to jump.” I said
“Why did you run out like that?” he said
“Cameron…didn’t you hear them? We’re not wanted…this…lifestyle. Us…you…me…being gay…” I said
“Fuck them. Who cares what they think?” he said
“I DO!” I snapped

He didn’t respond. His face grew confused.

“Why?” he finally asked
“I don’t know. Because I didn’t think it would be this hard…to be…” I stopped
“To be what?” he asked
“Nothing.”
“In love?” he asked

I didn’t say anything.

“Do you love me?” he pressured for an answer
“I don’t know!” I yelled over the thunder and crashing waves
 The rain began to fall even harder. He brushed his hair back as streams of rain fell from the tips of his hair onto his face

“I just wish…” I began, “I wish that we could be happy…and everyone would just accept it. Those people at the restaurant…your dad….my dad.”
“Eventually they will…” Cameron said
“How do you know that?” I asked
“I don’t know…but there’s hope.” He said

He took five steps towards me.

“Will this ever be easy?” I asked
“Let’s find out.” He said softly placing his hand on my cheek
I looked up into his eyes and said with uncertainty, “I don’t know if I can…”

He looked down almost in a defeated gesture. He shook his head and looked back up at me.

“You wished that we would be in each other’s lives.” He said
“I know.” I said upset
“I love you.” He said

 I didn’t respond. He smiled a sarcastic smile.

“You know what…I can’t do this either.” He said
“Cameron…”
“No…I love you too much to wait for something that may not even happen…” he said

He turned around and began to walk away; taking steps down the slippery hillside of the cliff. He was now about fifteen yards away from me. The heavy wind and rain blew some cherry blossoms off the tree and one stuck to my face. I peeled it off staring down at it. Suddenly a flash of all our moments together appeared before me…from the moment we met in class, to our wish, to the lake, and our first kiss, to our dance at the prom and our first time making love…that was it. Love. We made love. I shook my head out of my flashback and looked up as he continued to walk down the hill.

“CAMERON!” I yelled

He stopped and turned around. I began to walk towards him holding onto the blossom that fell on me. He began walking back towards me, which lead to me beginning to run. He then started to run as well. We met half ways up the hill into each other’s arms. I kissed him passionately. He held me tight in his arms as the rain pelted down on us. We unlocked lips as I examined his rain droplet covered face.

“I do love you.” I said
“Forever?” he asked
“Forever.” I added


He smiled and kissed me again. It was that moment that I realized that I was the person who was my own worst enemy. I didn’t want to accept the fact that I loved Cameron; because of society, because of what I was afraid of feeling. But as we kissed in the rain on Cherry Blossom Cliff, all of those feelings of doubt and uncertainty disappeared. I was in total bliss. This was my happiness, this was my future…this was true love.



© 2015 Copyright J.M. Casas Jr. Royalty Novels / True Love Saga. All Rights Reserved.

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